Olly, olly, oxen free.

I was writing about this is my notebook. Two days later my fairy GodFather, Seth Godin, posted this piercing piece.

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I like to hide, and… I’m pretty good at it.

I still remember my hiding spots on Delaware Drive, at Camp Ledgewood, at The Ranch and at almost every place I have worked.

I would hide close enough to hear what was going on, and stay away just far enough and long enough so that no one would find me.

Most times I had a book, or journal in hand. Reading and writing was is was is a great safe escape.

Sometimes it was just to get away and recharge. Sometimes it was for emotional and physical self-preservation.

Instead of going to recess in Elementary school, I volunteered in the Special Ed classes. I was hiding from the bullies, and helping someone else. Win-win, right?

Instead of going to lunch during my high school years, I had special permission to take extra classes during those time slots.

Instead of taking gym class during the regular school year, I took it during summer school.

Instead of playing the role I auditioned for, and got, in the musical. I dropped out and joined the crew instead.

Instead of taking opportunities in my career, I took the safer route.

I could go on and on.

Those moments have, for better and worse, made me who I am today.

So, still I try to disappear. I deactivate Facebook. I stop writing. (Well, I stop publishing my writing.)

The same childish behavior continues. I must say though, my reading has matured from Beverly Cleary to Brené Brown.

But, I have found a tribe, or you have found me, and hiding is no longer tolerated, even by my conscience.

For the first time I am realizing that the voices of my tribe are louder and more loving than the voices in my memories.

Over and over and over again the resounding message is now:

“Olly, olly, oxen free. Come out, Come out, where ever you are.”

I am close enough that I can hear it even when it is a gentle whisper. I am strong enough that I can handle it when it is said sternly and lovingly.

I’m peeking out from behind the walls I’ve built.

I’m scared. (No, I don’t know exactly what I am scared of.)

I need you. (No, I don’t know exactly what I need.)

But I do know that I am finally pressing in, and refusing to hide out.

With my tribe, I cry:

“Olly, olly, oxen free. Come out, Come out, where ever you are.”

2 thoughts on “Olly, olly, oxen free.

  1. Elizabeth says:

    My introverted personality has kept me alone most of my life. Few friends at any given time. Dreamland was and still is easier than life. Shyness was misdiagnosed and my pull back ways are misunderstood. Only when I am forced out do I have fun. I never choee my friends. Basically anyone who would give me attention would work. That included negative attention to build themselves up.

    I still have the issues but once I learned I wasn’t the only one and that introverted personalities were common, I felt less odd-ballish.

  2. myhearttoyours2016 says:

    Julie, thank you for not hiding. You have so much incredible goodness to share and I am thankful that you’re sharing it! No need to be afraid, God has made you awesome and given you thoughts worth sharing. XO

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