You never know when or where inspiration will hit and by inspiration I mean maybe a mini meltdown.

I am currently sitting in a recliner chair… between stacks of boxes…. at Costco.

I’m not here looking for gallons of shampoo or pounds of kale, but to get four tires for my car. Yesterday’s $29.95 oil change somehow became me having a flat tire last night, and a several hundred dollar adventure today. The day that rent was paid. It is the 7th of March.

If I am indeed an adult,  why does my life feel like a constant playing of the most annoying childhood game ever? (Chutes and Ladders.)

I go from feeling like I have it all together and I am able to be generous towards other people or splurge on myself , to somehow having to pay my bank $35 because my cell phone bill hit my account the day before my paycheck. Thankfully, the fee was reversed. But then I did it again one month later. Whoopsies!

I go from feeling physially better, to a doctor telling me I need to have surgery.

I find a workout regime I love, and it’s blowing up my adrenal glands.

I return to a job that is made just for me, it’s rewarding, it’s fulfilling, I get to be creative and connect with people all day long, I only work 40 hours a week, never on weekends but I just don’t make “enough”.

The last three things I thought I was going to do to supplement my income, haven’t panned out.

I could go on, but I wont.

I don’t quite know what my expectations are for being 34, but I feel like I should have a little more together than this.

I try to keep things in perspective. Really, I try.
The script reads: “Julie, God is in control. My parents are still so emotionally (and financially) supportive. I have the greatest friends any girl could ever ask for! My life is full of love and laughter. I don’t think I’ve ever gone without a meal, I’ve never been homeless, I still have my car, I’m happier and healthier than many.”

But some days, I just feel like
I. Just. Can’t. Adult.
And today, is just one of those days.