You found my safe little place on here by searching for my name and details about me …

I don’t wonder about you as often as I used to…

When there is a number I don’t know on my caller I.D. … I wonder if it’s you … I get excited… though I know even before picking up it isn’t you, why isn’t it you?

But I know, I know that we have nothing to talk about… other than that I loved you, and you decided it was over, we never talked about it or even talked again and I was left to process it all alone … and you are gone..

Why haven’t you called?

I didn’t understand it then, and I still don’t… How could I? Not giving me the reason has caused more pain then you just saying it…

Do I need you to tell me you made a mistake? Do I need to tell you about the nights I cried myself to sleep? Or how I keep every man at arms length and treat him as though he was responsible for the pain that I went through? Or how I don’t have guy friends because that’s how we started, and my heart wasn’t guarded then, and I am still afraid now? Do I need to hear you tell me you are sorry?

No – I need you to stop haunting me… don’t look for me.. by you I don’t want to be found…