Tag: middle school

Dear Maura Kelly, (an open letter)

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Revision:

After exchanging several personal emails with Maura Kelly, the author of the article, I realized how I was a fool, a hypocrite and how wrong I was to write the letter that is below. I am now eating some humble pie. Read the revised open letter here.

Dear Maura Kelly,

This is an open letter I am writing to you in response to your article in Marie Claire, titled,

Should “Fatties” Get a Room? (Even on TV?)

I can’t believe someone who I never knew existed before today, could provoke such a reaction. I want to scream. I want to cry. I feel bad for you and I would want to give you a hug, if I didn’t want to strangle you.

But seriously, what were you thinking? Your own “point, counter-point” style of writing indicates that you knew that what you were writing was not appropriate. Especially for a woman’s magazine.

And not only was it not appropriate, it was just cruel, condescending,  insensitive, and flat-out incorrect. And I would be more “brutally honest”, if I wasn’t so taken back, and offended by your ignorant “brutal honesty”. Maura, that was the only accurate statement in your article,  it was brutal.

I won’t go into all of my emotional reactions to your statements. I won’t engage you in the playground bullying.

But I will say this.

After a rant of defending the often unattainable, and often unhealthy “naturally slim” model you boldly state; “No one who is as fat as Mike and Molly can be healthy.” I have never seen the show. So,I don’t know how “fat” these actors and actresses are. But I know that even since losing weight I am fat. And Maura, I want to inform you, that I am 100% healthy. Just this past summer, I had a full exam. Full Blood work, thyroid tests, liver tests, who knows what they tested my urine for, cholesterol, EKG, an ultrasound of my heart, lungs, abdomen. Breathing tests.  I have lower cholesterol, lower blood pressure, and am healthier than one of my best friends, who weighs more than 100 pounds less than me.

If you want to encourage someone to lose weight, or be healthier, spouting off nutrition information would go alot further out of love and compassion, not after offending, degrading, and verbally bitch-slapping people.

Think twice, write once, and you will find yourself more humble, and more helpful. Don’t worry the humble pie you are now being forced to eat, doesn’t have any calories.

Moving forward,

Julie

A confident, beautiful, strong, friendly,  “fattie”,  who feels pretty.

update: This wasn’t just an open rant. I did send this letter to Maura Kelly, who has printed an apology, and a retraction on her article. She actually even replied to my email.

You’re right Julie–encouraging someone to lose weight is one thing, and insulting people is another. I feel really sad that I’ve hurt so many people, including you. I really do apologize.

-maura

Giving Thanks Sticks and Stones Nov10

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“Sticks and stones may break my bones…. but words will never hurt me”

So many times I have said that – and I wished it was true…

The truth is that words do hurt, and can leave scars worse than any broken bones.

 

I am thankful for the middle school students who made fun of me today, and for being made fun so much when I was growing up.

 

I realized about a year ago that much of the compassion and empathy I have to offer not only these girls I work with, but other women, comes from feeling so blasted, torn down, and rejected. Because I have never had any no social collateral to  offer. I have always known who my true friends have been.

 

God has been gracious and has been rebuilding me, with humility.

 

What was meant for evil – God has turned into good, for His purpose, and His glory.

 

He is restoring the years the locusts have stolen.

Online suicide…

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Every so often I go through these phases where I just want to kill my MySpace, now facebook.

 

I was talking to my friend Jessica yesterday about her recent online semi-suicide, and it reminded me of a blog written ironically by someone I don’t even know in real life.. read it here

 

MySpace, Friendster, facebook, now twitter, What benefit do these sites offer? I find myself again caught up in the insecurities of middle school. People passive aggressively or flirtatiously moving another up and down on their top eight, based on a whim or an argument. (fyi, mine is, and has been in alphabetical order for almost 3 years now, same people, same spots) and the fact that I explained that – and have had to when asked in the past, is exactly what this blog is about.

 

Do these sites really encourage the community that we find ourselves longing for?
Unfortunately, I don’t think so. I think that they encourage laziness in nurturing relationships and frankly – they drive me crazy…

Sure, it “connects” us, about as much as window shopping “connects” me with that outfit at City Place. Walking by without making the commitment.

 

I have found myself wasting more time than I would care to admit, basically stalking people. Ok, stalking might sound creepy, and mightbe an exaggeration. But if you are reading this then most likely I have read your profile, and the conversations through comments you have had. I have thought about who commented what on what picture, and decided that they were flirting with you, and that you were buying their cheap flirtations when they comment on your site. I have judged profile pictures, and who tags who on what. I have found out about budding relationships, bitter break-ups, pregnancies, birthdays, you name it, I have read about it on a MySpace profile or blog, and then never having the conversations about it that community requires and my heart desires. 

I will spare you the details of the night that I found the profile of an old “friend” (“friend ” meaning totally dysfunctional nonrelationship that consumed my late teen-aged years and formed how I react to men, and helped solidify my fear of rejection) from almost ten years ago, and my reaction over reaction, to who he was dating.

 I have let myself get sick in my head over it…

 

Every part of me wants to be connected to a community. But then when I step back and realize that it is all smoke and mirrors. I realize it just sucks…

 

What would happen if I committed online suicide? What relationships would fail because when I stopping carrying them I would realize that it’s a one-sided relationship? Who would make an effort to find me? And how long would they take? I think I already know the answers…

 

A part of me would like to believe that I can “redeem” all of these issues, and make it about encouraging people and writing more, being more intentional, all the flowery and poetic bologna I could sell you… but to be honest, I haven’t and I won’t… it will start off that way, and shortly I will find myself link hopping, or seeking approval through affirmation in your comments… getting nothing done.

 

A larger part of me knows that I just need to pick up the phone, turn of the computer, and go outside to play… 

 

Getting a grip,

Julie