Tag: rants

Humble Pie, an open letter to Maura Kelly

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photo credit: flickr.com/photos/cobalt/

Dear Maura,

While playing on Facebook this morning, I noticed that a fellow blogger, journalist for the Palm Beach Post , and a friend who I know slightly in real life, but mostly through Facebook, blogs and emails , Leslie Gray Streeter had posted a link to your now infamous article.

Just last night in my “life of love” group this bible verse was brought up.

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. (Prov 29:11)

I obviously didn’t retain that. Or represent a “life of love”.  So, I vented, and I foolishly wrote you an open letter. I was so proud of myself. I had said most of what I wanted to say while trying not to attack you personally.   “You” became that voice in my head that told me I was fat an ugly and disgusting my whole life, and I finally had “your” email address. I had finally told off  the girl who always picked on me, the voice that never left me. I was even interviewed for The Palm Beach Post. My friends rallied around me.

They told me how beautiful I am.

They told me I was a great writer.

They told me I was witty.

They told me I was snarky.

Then, I was told I was mean. (I did say I would hug you if I didn’t want to strangle you. Ouch.)

Much to my surprise, you responded personally, in humility. You told me I was right. And very few times have I ever felt so very wrong.  We have since exchanged several emails. You told me of people who have told you to go hang yourself.  How sad you are and how you have spent your time  today responding personally to most emails. As of this letter, you have over 2,200 comments, on the Marie Claire site alone.  That is one heck of a bad day for you. I didn’t see that. I needed to be heard. I kicked you while you were down, and snidely offered you calorie-free humble pie.

I have apologized to you privately, and would now like to do it publicly.

I am sorry.  I was wrong. I was the jerk, and hypocrite. I have contacted Leslie and tried to unring my bell. Telling her that I am your advocate, and you are not my enemy. I have forwarded her our correspondence so she could also see a glimpse of the repentant you, and the true foolish me. I have responded to comments telling them, I was wrong.

I realized that  it’s easy for us to write about someone not realize that we are talking about an actual person, whether a fattie , or a journalist who wrote a brutally honest blog.

Thank you for extending me the grace that I did not extend to you.

I need to take my own advice. Think twice, write once.

Moving forward,

Julie

A confident, beautiful, strong, not always so friendly  ”fattie” who is eating some humble pie.

Dear Maura Kelly, (an open letter)

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Revision:

After exchanging several personal emails with Maura Kelly, the author of the article, I realized how I was a fool, a hypocrite and how wrong I was to write the letter that is below. I am now eating some humble pie. Read the revised open letter here.

Dear Maura Kelly,

This is an open letter I am writing to you in response to your article in Marie Claire, titled,

Should “Fatties” Get a Room? (Even on TV?)

I can’t believe someone who I never knew existed before today, could provoke such a reaction. I want to scream. I want to cry. I feel bad for you and I would want to give you a hug, if I didn’t want to strangle you.

But seriously, what were you thinking? Your own “point, counter-point” style of writing indicates that you knew that what you were writing was not appropriate. Especially for a woman’s magazine.

And not only was it not appropriate, it was just cruel, condescending,  insensitive, and flat-out incorrect. And I would be more “brutally honest”, if I wasn’t so taken back, and offended by your ignorant “brutal honesty”. Maura, that was the only accurate statement in your article,  it was brutal.

I won’t go into all of my emotional reactions to your statements. I won’t engage you in the playground bullying.

But I will say this.

After a rant of defending the often unattainable, and often unhealthy “naturally slim” model you boldly state; “No one who is as fat as Mike and Molly can be healthy.” I have never seen the show. So,I don’t know how “fat” these actors and actresses are. But I know that even since losing weight I am fat. And Maura, I want to inform you, that I am 100% healthy. Just this past summer, I had a full exam. Full Blood work, thyroid tests, liver tests, who knows what they tested my urine for, cholesterol, EKG, an ultrasound of my heart, lungs, abdomen. Breathing tests.  I have lower cholesterol, lower blood pressure, and am healthier than one of my best friends, who weighs more than 100 pounds less than me.

If you want to encourage someone to lose weight, or be healthier, spouting off nutrition information would go alot further out of love and compassion, not after offending, degrading, and verbally bitch-slapping people.

Think twice, write once, and you will find yourself more humble, and more helpful. Don’t worry the humble pie you are now being forced to eat, doesn’t have any calories.

Moving forward,

Julie

A confident, beautiful, strong, friendly,  “fattie”,  who feels pretty.

update: This wasn’t just an open rant. I did send this letter to Maura Kelly, who has printed an apology, and a retraction on her article. She actually even replied to my email.

You’re right Julie–encouraging someone to lose weight is one thing, and insulting people is another. I feel really sad that I’ve hurt so many people, including you. I really do apologize.

-maura

Down the rabbit-hole I go….

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Yes, I’m a Red Pill Kinda Girl.

Ugh… That’s how I feel about it all right now. Ugh….

My head feels like it’s about to explode.

Organic it is. It’s better for me, and better for the Earth, even if it can be more pricey.

Organic it is. Then I got my first organic Red Pepper in my little local Organic buying club delivery – and it was from Holland.

Yes, Holland. As in The Netherlands.

Dark Green Below, East of Spain. North of the boot.

Reminder: I am in West Palm Beach, FL. USA… Allll the way over in the insert.

Over 4,500 miles my lil’ Red Pepper traveled.

What did my lil’ Pepper have to go through to get here from Holland?

Did it take a plane, a train, a boat, a bus?

Doesn’t all of that add up with for our “Green” footprint?

Does the 4,500 mile travel make USDA Organic “worth it”?

Is that why it costs SO MUCH MORE?!?!

And about that SO MUCH MORE… Sometimes it is reasonable. It’s not that much more. I can justify buying Organic if the cost difference is reasonable to me.

It’s healthier.

It’s better.

It’s reasonable.

But is the fact that to increase my food budget to be Organic and healthier I had to cut down my giving to help feed others, “reasonable”?

Is it “reasonable” that 1 in 6 Americans struggle with hunger?

Is it “reasonable” that there is a term of being “food-insecure” meaning not knowing where your next meal is coming from?

Is it “reasonable” that the children I work with through Urban Youth Impact go to bed hungry at night?

My lil’ Red Pepper.

It’s Organic.

And it’s given me a headache.

Ugh.

Awww Heck… The Ants Edition

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(I don’t know what happened to “Part One” of the Awww Heck Posts but Part Two is here … So I don’t know if this would be Part Three if there never was really ever a Part One)

 

Ok, so if you have ever met me, you know I have a few labels that apply to me…

 

Emotional, Dramatic Expressive, Tender, Sensitive, So So loving….But I am indeed an over thinker …

 

So we were having a small ant issue at the house… not really a big deal… until today…

They are these little winged ants who seemed to like to call my bedroom home… it’s gross to think about ants in my very clean and bright and never having food in it bedroom and even though they weren’t reallybothering anything… I decided to “take care of it” yesterday…  After some researching on Google I learned that they were indeed ants and not termites (FYI – ants have a thorax or abdomen or something) I had to decide to either bug bomb (which may not kill the queen) or just put out a gel (which little worker ants take back to the little ant village to kill the queen)….  I put out the gel, and nonwinged ants came out of the woodwork, literally… lots of um… the winged ants had no interest in the gel…

I know what you are thinking, what does this have to do with being emotional?

Well, yesterday, although I was fascinated by watching the ants eat the gel, and “talk” to each other.. I felt bad…

AND THEN TODAY… I had a bunch of dead ants in my bright and clean bedroom, little worker ants who obviously did not make it to feed the queen the poison, but that’s not all – there were alive ants and you wanna know what they were doing? Nope, not eating the gel…. they were lifting and carrying the dead ants back into the floorboards to take them to the little ant village…

How stinking sad is that?

 

Note to you, my friend and/or reader of other things that I don’t like because they make me so so sad, for real…

  • The Zoo
  • Sea World
  • Butterfly World
  • Fish Tanks

I am sure there are more… but I am getting too sad thinking about it…..

not how it’s supposed to be….

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On Labor Day, Christen, Danne and I went to the gym… it was such a long 40 minutes for me.. and it’s no secret that I hate the gym… 

 

Last night I “worked-out” with the Wii fit…  I hula hooped, and ran in place, watching the TV as I was chasing another Mii and then a virtual dog… it was fun and stuff, but…

 

Today, though I live not 10 minutes from the beach… I went swimming in a pool….

 

We have traded in so many great things, for cheap substitutes…

real fruit juice for Kool-Aid

real contact for Poking people on Facebook

Intimacy for Pornography

Real Conversation for Text Messages

Hand Written letters for email or wall comments

 

It’s just not how it’s supposed to be….

Bleeding Tongue

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I am completely done with a post, and here I am writing another one about why I am not hitting “publish” on the last one.

 

I have things I want to write about  – I have things I want to get off my chest. I have rants that want to be ranted. I want open conversation. I want others to get involved and tell me that I am right, and I want others to tell me that I am wrong …I want to hash it out.

 

I wish I didn’t get riled up, and more so I wish I didn’t love it.

 

Why don’t I then just unload? Isn’t this my little area to do what I want with?

Can’t I be as bold or ugly or beautiful or cynical or as encouraging or as whatever as I want?

Am I afraid of rejection? Am I insecure? Do I realize that sometimes what I get riled up about doesn’t make a dang bit of difference?

Did I take a vow to only blog about sunshine and roses?

As I write I am reminded of scripture:

 

When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. (Proverbs 10:19)

 

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. (Phil 4:8)

 

Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. (Proverbs 17:28)

 

Still Biting my bleeding tongue,

Julie

 

[ht for the thoughts and bleeding tongue: Abraham Piper]

[ht for the definition of what “ht” means: http://christianmind.blogspot.com/2005/05/what-i-learned-from-ht.html ]