- photo credit: flickr.com/photos/cobalt/
Dear Maura,
While playing on Facebook this morning, I noticed that a fellow blogger, journalist for the Palm Beach Post , and a friend who I know slightly in real life, but mostly through Facebook, blogs and emails , Leslie Gray Streeter had posted a link to your now infamous article.
Just last night in my “life of love” group this bible verse was brought up.
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. (Prov 29:11)
I obviously didn’t retain that. Or represent a “life of love”. So, I vented, and I foolishly wrote you an open letter. I was so proud of myself. I had said most of what I wanted to say while trying not to attack you personally. “You” became that voice in my head that told me I was fat an ugly and disgusting my whole life, and I finally had “your” email address. I had finally told off the girl who always picked on me, the voice that never left me. I was even interviewed for The Palm Beach Post. My friends rallied around me.
They told me how beautiful I am.
They told me I was a great writer.
They told me I was witty.
They told me I was snarky.
Then, I was told I was mean. (I did say I would hug you if I didn’t want to strangle you. Ouch.)
Much to my surprise, you responded personally, in humility. You told me I was right. And very few times have I ever felt so very wrong. We have since exchanged several emails. You told me of people who have told you to go hang yourself. How sad you are and how you have spent your time today responding personally to most emails. As of this letter, you have over 2,200 comments, on the Marie Claire site alone. That is one heck of a bad day for you. I didn’t see that. I needed to be heard. I kicked you while you were down, and snidely offered you calorie-free humble pie.
I have apologized to you privately, and would now like to do it publicly.
I am sorry. I was wrong. I was the jerk, and hypocrite. I have contacted Leslie and tried to unring my bell. Telling her that I am your advocate, and you are not my enemy. I have forwarded her our correspondence so she could also see a glimpse of the repentant you, and the true foolish me. I have responded to comments telling them, I was wrong.
I realized that it’s easy for us to write about someone not realize that we are talking about an actual person, whether a fattie , or a journalist who wrote a brutally honest blog.
Thank you for extending me the grace that I did not extend to you.
I need to take my own advice. Think twice, write once.
Moving forward,
Julie
A confident, beautiful, strong, not always so friendly ”fattie” who is eating some humble pie.
julieUNSCRIPTED 
I stick by my remarks. Witty, snarky and I’ll add one more- appropriate. I don’t want to interfere with whatever conviction you many feel :) – but open rebuke is better than hidden love. Would she have apologized and been repentant, if there had been no outrage or backlash? Just a thought.
Here’s the thing. After I saw the article I read it. I read Maura Kelly’s apology and I read all the comments. I felt sad. I felt sad that we as humans are made to feel ugly by anyone. I felt sad that we continue to live in a society where we are boxed in as people. Where we look at people from the outside in. We judge them on appearance, and actions and words. We forget to look at the heart – or ask why does this person feel this way.Loving othe
So to both you Julie and Maura: WE ALL DO IT. None of us are righteous – no not one. And while in this dance Maura stepped on many toes and Julie you may have stepped on one- I myself have stomped through using my own insecurities as an excuse to give a “self righteous” opinion.
Here is the thing. It is not just one person who miss wrote an article here. It is time for each of us to become advocates for each other. Loving others as ourselves means that we stop and look at the motive before we say anything. ALL OF US.
We are going to be uncomfortable around people. We just are. We are different from each other. People are going to hurt our feelings.
And at some point. Most likely later today – I am probably going to hurt someone as well.
Just when I believe I have no pride left, God shows me there is just enough left over to get me in trouble.
Thank you Maura for all of the emails that you have written. The first part of dealing when we mess up is admitting it.
Thank you Julie for following your convictions.
This is a lesson for all of us to look at our hearts before we speak. Listen first and then speak.
Maura I am certain this has been a terribly painful lesson. One that causes you to curl up in a ball and want to hide forever. I am sorry. But, know that some of us may have less public moments- but we have all had them. Some of us more than once.
But, know ladies. None of us- no not one- not even me… has a heart that wouldn’t say things that are mean. Just because some of us keep it stuck in our heads. It doesn’t make us any better in the long run.
It takes Christ- just him to change us. DAILY. Then we can be different.